I always though I would live with my parents till I was 30, but after turning 21 I felt a need, an urgency for and new sense of freedom and independence. And the timing was perfect. It is going to be my senior year in college and every week I'm going to make it my goal to blog at least once. Documenting my summer as I divulge head first into this new and terrifyingly exciting adventure known as 'adulthood'.
Now nothing makes a blog officially a blog without a corny introduction, an 'about me', 'my bio', the unique life story that sets you apart from the rest of the world. Well my future readers, hold on to your butts as I recap the last 20 years of my existence.
Birth. I have no memory of leaving my mother's womb, but it must have been the most terrible experience of my life. Having to leave a toasty water bed with free room service to be pushed out into the cold, hard, shiny, noisy hell hole that is the world, maybe that's the reason I didn't stop crying for 3 months straight. I was given a name, obviously and was then the responsibility of my parents to care for and teach me the ways of the world. I'd say I turned out pretty alright.
Adjectives: I am creative, funny, whimsical, sensitive, loyal, dependent, paranoid, messy (only sometimes) bouncy, tall, empathetic, thoughtful, cheerful, NOT a morning person, a tea drinker, procrastinator, lover, artist, writer, hair color enthusiast, plotter, thinker, hipster, reader, movie-goer, chocolate eater, improviser, apron collector, laugher, joker, future comedian, sister, daughter, and blogger!
I don't believe in being normal or that I was ever once normal in my life. I had this one phase in fourth grade where my favorite thing to do was convince people that I was crazy and the only thing I feasted on was mongoose (don't ask). Do you know what a "mongoose" is? Here's one right HERE. They kind of resemble a ferret. Adorable right? I know, why I said I ate them I have no clue. I guess I just liked the word and the reaction I got from others. At a young age I loved to be the source of others laughter, whether they were laughing at me or because of me. People can break that down though, that being the specific things that make you odd or unique. Whatever it may be some see it an not normal. And sometimes those people get to you and you stop being weird and try to be normal. Being normal is overrated and people will always reveal to you their true selves whether they want you to see it or not. Do you know what normal people do? They become the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch.
My childhood is more or less a boring blur, that isn't worth me trying to dazzle it up with fancy words and funny anecdotes. Two parents, multiple family pets, a little sister, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Throughout my years I've done sleepovers, corn mazes, haunted houses, birthday parties, summers spent having fun instead of working, family vacations to Florida, family vacations to Colorado, weekends spent in the mall, sneaking out and TP-ing houses, sneaking out and getting caught, ACT tests, homecoming games, school dances where nobody danced, art projects, science projects, math test, history papers, english papers, senior projects, graduation, freshman, sophomore, and junior years of college living at home. One really bad relationship, and one really good relationship.
Middle School: I think the years from 6th to 8th grade during Middle School children should be able to take a leave of absence during this time. Who didn't hate Middle School? Who hated calling it "Middle School" because it sounded so much better to refer to it at "Junior High" but everyone insisted on calling it middle school when it should just not exist because it was the worst years of our lives. If you weren't awkward and ugly at this point in your life you're lying and that's not true. We ALL looked bad in Middle School. We all had a bad hair cut, or spent hours straightning our hair till it was fried to a crisp. We all wore too much frosty lipgloss and powder blue eyeshadow and tried out for the cheerleading team but didn't make it and from that moment was convinced that cheerleading was stupid even though all through High School we wished that we could've been a cheerleader but we wouldn't admit that to anyone in our lives......
Middle school is like the dark ages of our lives. We know it happened at some point but everyone's too embarrassed to ever relive those memories.
High School:
I was a freshman. And it was dumb.
I was a sophomore. And it was dumb.
I met a boy. And he was dumb.
I was a junior. And it was dumb.
My relationship turned into a controlling prison.
And it was dumb.
I was a senior. I did a senior project. I graduated. And it was dumb.
The end.
High school and part of college were not very good times in my life. At this time I was in a very controlling and verbally abusive relationship, and it was something that I would never wish on my enemy. I don't want to go into detail very much because it is in the past and I don't want to dwell on it. I hope to pass on some advice to anyone reading that went through or is going through a similar situation.
When I started dating my ex I was elated at first, he was sweet to me and like a fish to bait I was caught. 3 months went by where things went well. Going to the lake with his family on weekends, hanging out at the mall, going to the movies on many occasions. It was normal things that other couples our age participated in. And then school started and my world was turned upside down and basically shit on. There were fights. There was jealously and insecurity to the extreme. He talked to other girls but I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone of the opposite sex. Looking back I know that that was my first red flag, but at my ripe age of 16 I thought I had my life by the reigns and had control, when really that was just the first step to me losing control for 4 and a half years after this.
Let's just say it wasn't pretty.
If you're going through a similar situation I have two words for you: GET OUT. Get out and take your life back. It's not going to be the end of the world. There are others around you, who care about you and want the best for you. After I broke up with my ex do you know what happened. I found a great guy that treats me like an actually human being. Not only that but I have the freedom to make my own decision and I have surrounded myself with amazing people that bring out the best in me. And that has made all the difference.
Which brings us to the present...DRUMROLL PLEASE...*sounds of drums rolling*
This blog is dedicated to my first summer being on my own and facing independence and adulthood head on. AND I wan't to share this experience with you all. For better or worse you'll be able to share in everything that I tackle this summer and the following years to come. Yes I plan on keeping this blog going for years (how else am I to become famous and get my rep up?)
You'll be there when I don't have enough money for rent and all the future tattoos I plan to get.
So like I said hold on to your butts! It's going to be a bumpy summer!
So it's been about a week and a day since I officially moved back into my house and have been living on my own. I saved up a bit of money previously so the only thing that has put a dent in my account has been getting my own groceries, paying for rent, and most recently my newest tattoo that I put on my body (I have three if you're curious).
It hasn't been too lonely, two of my three roommates, Maggie and Megan, are down here and with a few of our mutual friends always in an out it's never too quiet. Surprisingly I haven't gotten homesick since moving back home (sorry Mom!) I guess when you spend 21 years living with your parents when you decide to finally leave the nest it's not quite as much as a shock.
But really I owe my ability to adjust smoothly to adulthood all to my parents. They raised me to become the person I am today and I can't thank them enough for being so unconditionally loving an supporting of me. There are many parents that kick their kids to the street once that hi the big 1-8 but I found myself incredibly lucky to claim my wonderful, yet sometimes overbearing, parents as my own. They have taught me many valuable lessons that include never taking candy from strangers, and always looking both ways before crossing the street. That taught me the value of a dollar and that I need to work for what I want. They taught me that seeing the world and traveling is sometimes more important than finishing college (only if I want to) and that I shouldn't be my harshest critique; that I am a beautiful inside and out. They taught me the joy in comedic timing and that a good cry can always make you feel better. Calories never count after it gets dark and that the moon was put up in the sky for me using a very tall later and is always with me no matter where I go. And for that I thank them.
While I will miss my parents being like a security blanket at my side, it truly is a breath of fresh air to be on my own. And I can't wait to see what this chapter of my life brings me and I can't wait to spend it with you my future readers!
I have been called many names Hil, Hillbilly, Hilarious, Hildog, Hildo, Lawrance, Lary call me what you will, or just Hilary is fine.
Till next time,
xo H
